


Based On A True Story

by ScarletSakura



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst? I'm not sure, Dark Thoughts, Depression, Honestly it's mainly Baekhyun in this, M/M, Random series of thoughts, baekchen my otp that's why Jongdae had to be here, heavy thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29023362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletSakura/pseuds/ScarletSakura
Summary: There’s an ache in his mind, desperately needed to be filled with something - anything - that could stop it.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen
Kudos: 13





	Based On A True Story

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired from Epik High ft. Heize - Based On A True Story
> 
> The song is on repeat (yes it's still playing as I'm writing this note) throughout the writing process. Heize's vocals in the song reminds me so much of Chen's in Dynamic Duo - You. The whole song is beautiful. I'm pretty hooked on Epik High right now oof-
> 
> Please be aware that I wrote this while channeling my depressive emotions into words. If you ask me, these thoughts isn't heavy for me but it's still very- depressive lol.
> 
> Please be well wherever you are, *sends huggos*

The silence is too unbearable.

The moment he stepped foot inside the gloomy room, all the darkness clawed their way on his body, burying their heavy nails into his unharmed flesh. With every step he took deeper into the room, the heavier his shoulders got.

He’s not sure how long he’s been sprawled out on the couch, eyes fixed on the ceiling, limbs gone numb under the darkness.

He’s not sure whether he should be laughing or crying. He doesn’t know.

There’s an ache in his mind, desperately needed to be filled with something - anything - that could stop it. Maybe drinking to get his mind blanked out would be a good option right now but ironically, he doesn’t want to get drunk.

Maybe stabbing his head wouldn’t be bad. At least he’ll instantly stop thinking and maybe all those aches that’s digging a deeper hole in his mind would find their way out from the confined space and up into the unknown; where darkness freely lingers around.

Literally anything that could stop his noisily quiet mind from making another silent screech will be his saving.

Does time exist where he is currently at?

How many minutes had it been? Hours?

He doesn’t know.

Does he want to know?

Does he want to lift his already numb hand that is holding the phone loosely up to his face and eyes that is slowly closing? Does he want to know how much time has passed since he got here and has been doing nothing but laying on the couch, eyes zeroing into the ceiling and only getting disappointed because _ah, it hasn’t been that long after all_.

Trying to escape reality by going into a dark space isn’t ideal.

But it is his bad habit.

One that he promised to try put a stop to, but it seems like he is still the same weakling that gave in to his chaotic mind.

How can people expect him to be strong when they’re throwing stones at him nonstop? He can handle one or two, nine or ten would still be bearable but- do they ever stop?

He has a limit, don’t they know?

How can people be so-

Sad?

No, not sad as in where he feels sympathy or empathy. It’s sad because people disappoint him continuously; he’s not putting up any expectations, doesn’t expect anything anymore because expectations often lead to disappointments.

Ah, how should he describe this sadness?

Ah, he’s rambling again.

Oh, how did he get out here?

How did Baekhyun get out from the dark room to this bridge that overlooks the river beneath him?

How did the time suddenly go from evening to night in the blink of an eye?

Has he been thinking about all sorts of stuff for hours? What has he been thinking about again?

_Damn it_ , can he stop forgetting? It’s really not helpful.

There’s a short vibration coming from his phone in his right grip just as he faces the view of the river ahead on top of the bridge. How is it that the water on the river’s surface looks so- beautiful and welcoming? Is it warm down there? Is it dark? The moon tonight is bright though.

There’s another vibration that comes not long after the first one stopped, and Baekhyun already knows who it is.

People are sad, but not him. He’s the epitome of happiness itself. If Baekhyun finds warmth under the moon then Jongdae belongs under the sun.

He’s not sure why they became close friends. Doesn’t really remember how- okay, maybe Baekhyun does remember how they first met if he really digs deep into his memories, but he’s not in the right condition to start reminiscing about past meetings.

He nears the railing, head peeking over to the water beneath him.

Maybe he’s spent an insane amount of time lost in his thoughts again because the next thing he’s awake to is him being pulled back forcefully.

“Suicide isn’t the answer, kid.”

Baekhyun blinks at the old man, who still has his grip on his forearm.

“I wasn’t- No, you misunderstood me.”

The old man would’ve let go of Baekhyun if it wasn’t for how defensive he sounded. As if he thought about a secret only for himself but got caught red-handed.

Had he been thinking of jumping over the bridge’s railing?

He doesn’t know.

The old man - who looks about in his 50’s - skeptically scans over his body before finally letting his forearm free that Baekhyun felt was gripping onto him tightly.

“I’m glad you weren’t.” Said the elder, without offering an apology for yanking him away. “But just know that life is tough, it sucks. But hold on, okay? Don’t give up on yourself.”

And maybe that’s one of the nicest words that he had ever gotten from anyone ever.

He may have had received those words back then, but Baekhyun couldn’t really remember anymore. He probably does, but he doesn’t know anymore. Too tired to think of the past.

He didn’t say anything in return, afraid that everything would come spilling out from his mouth. Scared that once he speaks, no one will be able to relate to him; leaving him lonely in a sea of people.

His phone buzzes again and it catches the old man’s attention, he glances at Baekhyun’s grip and sends him a brief smile, “Go back home safely okay? The next time we might meet here, I’ll treat you to an ice cream store down some blocks away, how does that sound?”

“So you want me to come back here?” Baekhyun answers.

The elderly chuckles as he shakes his head a little, “If you’re here for sightseeing then why not? Though I’d appreciate it if I could save a dollar or two.”

A smile comes to rest on his lips, “I’ll treat you then.”

“Sounds like a deal.”

As the random and spontaneous presence of another leaves him at the bridge’s empty pedestrian, Baekhyun nears the railing once more.

The water underneath still looks so welcoming and warm.

Jumping wouldn’t be hard.

It’s definitely cleaner than stabbing himself to bleed out. Ugh, what a hassle to clean up all that bloody mess.

And suddenly, his mind stops making silent noises.

He breathes the night air.

The buzz of his phone dies midway when Baekhyun picks up Jongdae’s call.

Jongdae sounded so worried that the first words he said as soon as Baekhyun greeted him over the phone was, "I love you."

And Baekhyun loved him too.

**Author's Note:**

> Feels like I'm rambling but make it a fanfiction-
> 
> I'm supposed to be writing for a fest but I guess I got into an author's block. This fic totally wasn't planned, I just knew I had to write it (no matter how LAZY I was to think of words) after I listened to the song a few times.
> 
> Please know that I appreciate every read, kudos and comments I received! I might not reply to your comment for days ahead but do know I read them! Thank you ^^
> 
> (My social energy is not in a good level right now)


End file.
